I will be there.

When you are rushing from place to place,
Know that I will be there.
When you feel the wind on your face,
Reach out and hold my hand.
I will be there.
Friends may turn against you.
I will hold you in my embrace.
You may be scared.
I’m scared too.
Life isn’t meant to be lived alone.
We all need someone to hold.
When you are driving in your car,
Looking at the colors passing bye
Think of me and I will be there.
When you are on a trip and you need a hand to hold,
Reach out, and I will be there.
You never have to be alone.
That is, if you only realize,
I will be there.

Bridges

There is this bridge swinging precariously in the wind. I watch as those going before me struggle to get across. Sometimes they slip; sometimes the even fall. A few fall straight off into the bottomless chasm beneath. I stand in my haze. There is a cloud surrounding me of everything that is holding me back…it is as if there are chains holding me down to the ground just laughing at me. I look for a way to shake the chains loose so I can give the bridge a shot. Nothing works…I cry out to God to loosen these chains…he is faithful. Now I’m free, but will I chance the bridge before me. I am allowed a peek as to what is on the other side, and I am not disappointed. It is God’s plan—His blueprint for my life. I am eager to get my hands on these blueprints because they hold the much obscured purpose for my struggles, but everything. Somehow I get loose and without hesitating I sprint across the bridge. I don’t even look beside me or below me. I simply run. I make it, and I pick up these prints. I can hardly believe that I’m actually holding them in my hand. They seem heavier than they should. I roll them out onto the ground. I feel God’s hand rest on my shoulder as he reads over me. Confused, I flip pages wondering why they are in a language I don’t understand…for that matter, I can’t even decide if it is a language. God ask me to flip through all the pages…puzzled, I simply follow his command. Each page presents the same confounding language, but one thing stands out. At each turn of the page, a new scene of my life is systematically mapped out with indecipherable words beside each. I quickly pick up the fact that the same few words are mentioned over and over. I ask God what these words mean. He tells me that these words actually are a phrase: the first one is you crying out, “Help me!” and the second one is me saying “you got it.” A tear streaks down my face as many of the scenes reveal the raw hurt that I carried around. God sees my distress and quickly shows me how much his grace was abounding when I had no clue. I get to the end of where my life is currently and flip through a few blank pages before giving God a puzzled look. He just smiles and tells me to turn to the end. I flip to the end and find that I need no words to understand what is before me. I am embracing God. He has his arms wrapped around me in love. Scattered around me are the chains each one significant of the struggles I was bound to wear on this earth. At my foot lies the thorn that God placed in my side. In my eyes rest the tears of understanding. In my arms is the savior that I have been waiting on. Tearily I turn back to God, he softly tells me, “you see Adam, it’s going to pay off.” I slowly rise. I start back across this bridge back into the world that chains me. As if on cue, I step back into my cloud of confusion and hurt, and immediately feel the burden of my struggles. I don’t lose heart this time. Something inside warms me. I feel God’s hand on my back, and I turn to see nothing. I know he’s there though. I walk with my head held high in spite of the thorn in my side. I’m a new man, a changing man, a pitiful man, an excellent example of grace, and most importantly, I’m God’s man.

Rough Edges

Rough edges are easily found around dark corners.

Smile

I would do anything to see you smile. You make me smile, and that says so much. A smile carries so much weight in exposing true emotions. When I see your smile, the day warms. Like the warmth of the sun, your smile radiates to those around you. Without your smile, my days aren't complete. You may not know how powerful your smile is, but let me be the first to tell you, it is profound. When words aren't available or simply aren't enough, a smile can translate what no amount of utterance could. So today, wherever you are, smile. When you can't smile, I'll smile for you.

Foundations

Be wary when your foundations begin to shake. It is quite alright to argue the tough stuff, but be diligent when rocking your foundations.

Spinning

What it when things start spinning.
There is bound to be a drain somewhere.

Inner Child

I see too versions of myself. I see the version of me that you see. As a passerby, you may notice me standing upright or slightly hunched, depending on the mood. You see a confident or slightly self conscious person, given my emotions. On a good day, you will catch my smile, and sometimes it may be directed at you. On a bad day, you might look into my eyes, and see the anxiety lying just beneath. If you are one of my good friends, you also see this version of me. You see me better than most though. You know when I have a bad day without me having to say it. It’s true that sometimes I will let you down, but you know I truly love you in spite of my actions sometimes. You may see me when I don’t see you, and I hope that you might catch a glimpse of the other me. I will leave that to a fate beyond myself. This first version of me, is the me I profess. I claim him. I am that guy. You see me confidently standing firm. I laugh robustly and try to warm most of the rooms I’m in. I work hard to make you feel loved. I hope this comes across. Then there is the me that no one knows well.
I see this other version of myself that only God truly knows. I see this little boy sitting in the corner. I see tears welling up in his eyes because of something someone said. I see him hang his head because he was hurt when one of his friends let him down. I see his anger when he can’t do things right. I see a little boy who wants desperately to be held. I see a boy that would do anything to get someone to love him the way he needs it. I see a boy that puts his self-worth on the line every time he takes a risk on someone. I see this little boy trying to grow up, but can’t because of himself. I see a little boy longing for something more. You may have seen this little boy in me at some point, but I do my best to keep him occupied. I keep him to myself mostly. I have learned how to suppress him. Yes, he can hinder me sometimes from saying the things I really wish I could, and yes, he sometimes reminds me just how hurtful someone’s words or actions can be. What am I supposed to do with him though? He’s my inner child, and he lives strong. God only knows what I would do without him. I like to think that this same inner child holds the key to my faith. Wasn’t it Jesus himself who said, it takes the faith of a child? Maybe that’s some key to unlock the mystery of ourselves. What if this inner child, this version of ourselves that we try to hid, was the key to figuring out what it means to love without reserve, cry when people are watching, smile when we mean it, rush headlong into relationships, fall head over heals, and authentically care for those around us? Will we know? What does your inner child say to you? Have you grown so cynical and jaded that you can’t hear your inner child? I think he or she is there. If you listen long enough and think hard enough, wouldn’t you give anything to go back and be a kid again? Think about this. Faith of a child. Don’t ever become too grown up to realize that your inner child is there, and if you try to keep him or her away, they aren’t going to leave you. Think like a child today, and live as an adult. The two do not have to be separate.